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Kathleen Rose Perkins (Tell Me You Love Me, NCIS: LA) plays a network exec in the Hollywood satire Episodes, which begins its second season this Sunday on Showtime. The show is about two writers whose lives — and fledgling TV series — become hilariously complicated by Matt LeBlanc (played by Matt LeBlanc, of course). Getting into character? Well, for Perkins, that had its own complications, as she explains in an exclusive guest blog post:

Television executives used to scare the crap out of me.  If I was lucky enough to get a job on a TV show, I would assume everyone I met who was wearing a suit was an executive, and, by definition, held my job in the palm of their powerful hands.  I’d tremble at the very sight of them, smile awkwardly, and try desperately to make them like me. In other words, not fire me.  

You may think that this was paranoid behavior. But you have to understand,  I had seen so many actors fired from so many projects over the years.  Heck, I was fired not once, but twice, from two different TV shows in the same year!  (Needless to say, that was a rough year.)  So, no matter what, they were “them”.  They were the ones I could never understand.  They were the ones that did things like not hire a girl because they didn’t like her bangs.  At least, that’s what they told her agent.

So, imagine my surprise when I auditioned to play a television executive by the name of “Carol Rance” on a show called Episodes in February of 2010, and I actually got the job.  Well, at first, it wasn’t so much surprise as it was absolute, huge, and emphatic joy.  I got a job!  On a great show!! That was already picked up and set to air!!! That shot in freakin’ London!!!!

When the smoke cleared, the confetti settled and the clowns got back in their clown car (to drive to the house of the next actress who got a job), I then felt the surprise; along with a healthy dose of pressure as I realized that I would now have to portray someone I had always thought to be the villain. To be more specific: an automaton with no feelings, no regard for their fellow man, no nice-ness in their bones. (Remember, I had been fired twice in the same year.  Also, admittedly, I’m a bit dramatic).

And so began the overwhelming task of finding sympathy for and attempting to relate to these people with whom I had nothing in common.  I read some books (most notably Desperate Networks by Bill Carter, a fantastic and eye-opening read).  I spoke to some casting executives (I found them the most relatable to actors).  I tried to figure out what type of person would take such a job.

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